"Just don't flaunt it in my face"

 woke up the other morning and groggily checked Facebook while waiting for my morning elixir (aka coffee) to brew and I came across George Takei's posting of the picture below. Now, I would guess that anyone could see that these signs were made to point out the absurdity of when people say these things to homosexuals buy directing them to heterosexuals.  But after reading the comments (I'm a glutton for punishment, obviously), it became glaringly apparent that people missed the point. But the one thing that really got on my nerves was how people kept saying "I don't care who you fuck - keep your sexuality in your bedroom" or "I agree that PDA is gross and no one should do it".  People seem to be under the impression that PDA is just playing tonsil hockey at the park or more. Yeah, maybe that should be kept a bit more private in general, but that could be the Japanese society wearing off on me. But as one of the good comments pointed out, every time you hold your partner's hand or give them a quick peck on the cheek, that's PDA. Freely talking about your recent engagement and showing people your wedding pictures could be seen as announcing and flaunting your sexuality, especially to those who can't.

Another comment that kept creeping up was "why do celebrities feel the need to come out publicly? I don't care" and "why aren't there any straight pride parades?" I'd like to hope that one day no one will care about other's sexuality at all. And that people will be able to comfortably live and love openly. But until that day, we need those in the public eye to set an example and to show people that it's okay. A celebrity "coming out" gives courage to the everyday people out there. It shows them that they're not alone. The same happens when people gather together and can openly show their support for one another, regardless of their sexuality. Hopefully the day will come when people don't need to publicly announce their sexuality, but until then, why don't you help the cause? Or at the very least, shut up and recognize that those who face unwarranted discrimination need to do things that those who are in a privileged position don't. 

And everyone should feel free to hold hands with the person they love.

My country?

About a year or so ago, I went on a couple dates with a Japanese guy who kept saying "In your country,...".

"In your country..."

"In your country..."

And it irritated me unto no end. Hence just a couple dates. One of the reasons is because I knew he wasn't interested in me as Neena - he was interested in me as an American. And I don't have time for that.

But the other day, one of my friends who is in the US for a work project emailed me saying "Neena, I'm in your country!". I was happy for him, naturally. But there was a twinge of something, not quite irritation, but something. And I'm next to positive my friend doesn't just think of me as some American, so why should it bother me?

I've thought about it for a few days now, and I'm sure it's because I don't feel such a strong connection with the US anymore. I haven't stepped foot on American soil since I left it in 2008 and everything I see about it in the news just angers me. (The news isn't exactly a full representation of the country, I know.) I have no real desire to go back anytime soon. And of course I am a US citizen and I don't feel shame in saying that. But it's not my home, and I also don't feel like it's my country.

I talked about this with another friend the other night, and he joked "You're basically Japanese!". I have found my place here, yes. And I'm comfortable here, but I'm also aware that Japan will never be my country either. And I'll be accepted as "basically Japanese" by my friends and maybe even a few others, but I'll always be "some American" or "the foreigner" to most people. Sometimes that makes me sad and sometimes a little angry. But it's a choice I've knowingly made, and one I'm okay with.

I'm from the US.
Japan is my home.
I have no country.
I am me.