Wedding Stress / Updates

I don't know how my husband does it. I annoy myself when I get into one of my stressing and freaking out moments. I can't imagine how anyone else can handle it. But I guess that's just reconfirmation that this is the man for me. (Love you, honey!) 

Anyway, the "oh my god, we're running out of time and there's still a butt-ton to do" stress kicked in. We've got four months, and most everything is fairly automatic, so it's really not even that bad. But in my head, everything was just a jumbled mess. So after a particularly poor night of sleep and a rough day at work, I needed to do something.

That something for me involves graph paper and colored pens. I needed a color-coded to-do list. (The graph paper is because I need it to look semi-even, or the effect is lost.) We ended up staying up until midnight, even though my husband and I both were ready for bed way before that. But I felt worlds better and things have been pretty good since then. Alright!

So what have we done recently? Spent a bunch of money, that's what! We decided to get some photos done. We had gotten a special photo package for under ¥20,000, but what we failed to understand was that package only included one picture. If we wanted any of the other 50 pictures, we would have to shell out a hefty fee. The first one we were presented was ¥160,000! We went for the cheapest "data only" plan. A nice ¥60,000. Oh my god.

Just yesterday we went to a shop to design our wedding rings. Neither me nor my husband know or care much about jewelry, so it wasn't a fun idea to spend ¥150,000 or more on rings. But we want/need rings, so what were we to do? A kind of dream for me from about a year or so ago was to make my future wedding rings. My husband, being the great guy he is, agreed instantly. So yesterday we went to the shop and carved and filed some wax into our ring prototypes. The price was about the same, but at least now we have the emotional value that makes the price tag an easier pill to swallow.  

Now we're doing a lot of the waiting game. We're waiting for the invitations. We're waiting for the photos. For the rings. For photos from our families. For my passport... Oh geez, I totally forgot about all the legal stuff we still have to do for me....I guess I'm making another list... 

Oh and tomorrow's mission is dress hunting!

Wedding Tradition Rants

edit: It was brought to my attention, that the tone in this post with regards to my dad is very easy to misunderstand. I had only negative feelings towards the tradition. I felt nothing bad towards my dad. At all. What I meant as a loving joke in the middle (i.e., he's borrowing my spotlight) was in no way serious or criticism. One of the things I love about my dad is that he loves getting dressed up. It helps that he's such a handsome man. For an old guy. And for my dad. This rant was just how I felt about the tradition itself. Of course, I very much want my dad to be involved in my wedding. I've now added some marks to show where I'm not being serious to hopefully communicate more clearly what I actually meant.

So my mother and I got into our first (hopefully not of many) heated exchange with regards to the wedding. It was due mainly to me being overtired and Mom forgetting that she forgot to tell me some important info, but in the end it was decided that my father would be walking me down the aisle or at least something to a similar effect.  

Personally I had (I've gotten over it) really mixed feelings about this. I didn't have to think about it before, because it was assumed that my dad, as the cameraman, wouldn't want to partake in this tradition. But he had other thoughts on the issue and expects to be given that honor. 

The thing that I don't like about the tradition is what it symbolizes. It basically is the father giving his daughter to her husband/new owner. It's the passing of property. And it's pretty messed up, if you ask me. So the emotional part of me is like "Um, no. Ain't nobody givin' me away! I'm gonna walk myself over to my new partner."

Of course then the logical I-want-to-keep-the-peace-and-everyone-happy part realizes that even though that's what the tradition symbolizes, my dad doesn't mean it that way. He just wants to get dressed up and show me off. <teasing sarcasm> Or so he says. I'm sure he actually wants to get dressed up and for everyone to see him dressed up. He's gonna borrow my spotlight for a minute.</teasing sarcasm> And that's 100% okay. So when I stop to think about it, I don't have any problem with him walking me down the aisle to my husband. 

But it took a couple days before my emotional side and my logical side worked their issues out. I thought that if I'm going to be this annoyed, stressed, and conflicted now, I'm giving up the whole wedding thing. But it's okay and planning is back on track. 

But I'm sure there will be another dispute when I tell my dad he can't wear a tuxedo. I'm going to wait to tell him. Shhh! <winky face>

What did I get myself into?

This is something I've found myself saying more and more these days.What did I get myself into? It's alternates with "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Since deciding to tie the knot with my now fiance, things have been moving incredibly fast and slow at the same time. Not to sound cliche, but there really is a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it in. 

It's not that there's not a lot of time. It's that there's not a lot of available and usable time. I'm off work, but he's not. Or we're free, but everything is closed. There's also a lot of waiting time - times where we can't make decisions about B until A is finished. Those sorts of things. 

I'm stressed just thinking about this year. That's my style. I tend to be a bit shorter focused than my partner. He thinks about the near future, but he tends to compound the stress by thinking about the more long-term as well. I don't know if that's wise or foolish. Maybe it's both. And since I tend to be so short-sighted, it's probably a really good thing for us. 

There's so much to think about right now: moving me and my stuff, getting things ready for the legal part of marriage, finding and moving into a new place, planning a wedding, planning for a honeymoon, getting ready for the whole "family" thing, and chasing (and catching!) career dreams. 

I can't even describe the stress I felt just typing that last paragraph. I suppose as soon as we get things more settled and determined, I'll be okay. Once we decided what to do about our current living situation, I felt much more relaxed. Granted, the execution of our plan is a far cry from a walk down easy street. But it's a plan. And it's in progress. 

There will probably be posts about updates or rants for the next few months to a year. It's a quick way for me to alleviate some amount of the tension I'm sure to be feeling from here on out. 

And just to put any worrying minds to rest - I regret nothing and I'm very excited for my future.

(Btw, Happy Belated Birthday to a very special man!)